How to Support Your Child During the Holiday Season

The holiday season can be a time for connection and celebration with loved ones, but it can also bring up big feelings for your child. We’re here to talk about dysregulation, why you may see it increase during this time of year, and a few strategies to help support your child during the winter months. 

What is Dysregulation?

Dysregulation happens when the nervous system enters a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. It often communicates an unmet need or that the nervous system’s capacity has been exceeded. Dysregulation can show up in many ways, including meltdowns, increased energy levels, heightened emotional responses, or difficulty sleeping. 

We all have different capacities for how much input and demand our nervous systems can process at any given time. When our nervous system’s capacity overflows, regulation can become harder to maintain. 

The Role of Interoception

Interoception is the sense that helps us to perceive, understand, and respond to internal body signals like hunger, thirst, tiredness, temperature, and the need to use the bathroom. It also plays a key role in understanding our emotional states. 

When a child’s interoceptive awareness is still developing, they may experience difficulties with identifying or communicating what their body needs. This is especially true when demands are heightened or when their nervous system capacity is reduced, both of which can be present during the holiday season. 

Why the Holiday Season Impacts Regulation

Winter-related transitions and holiday routines often involve:

• Changes to one’s daily routines, including mealtimes, school schedules, holiday events, and potential travel

• Disrupted sleep

• Increased social demands

• Increased sensory input (e.g., winter clothing, weather changes, crowded environments)

Even positive experiences, like classroom parties and family gathering, can be a source of dysregulation for some children due to the shifts in predictability and expectations. This is why children often need more regulation support during this season compared to others. 

Three Ways to Support Your Child this Season

Increase Predictability Where Possible

A sense of predictability helps mitigate the stress that comes from unexpected transitions. When you can, try to keep daily routines consistent, like morning schedules, mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and access to familiar regulation tools. 

You can also prepare your child ahead of time by talking through travel or event plans, using simple visual schedules, or including your child in the planning process. When your child is regulated, collaborate to create a plan for upcoming events, like identifying a safe space to retreat to when feeling overwhelmed or a picture or phrase they can use to communicate that they need support. 

Providing Extra Opportunities for Co-regulation. 

Co-regulation is the most critical prerequisite to developing self-regulation. It’s built through authentic connection, meaningful communication, and shared emotional experiences. 

Supporting co-regulation starts with tending to your own emotional needs first. Start by modeling your own interoceptive experience by naming what you notice in your body and what you need to do next to meet your needs. You might also create a “menu” of regulating activities or tools that your child can choose from, which can reduce the cognitive demand associated with decision making when your child is dysregulated. 

When your child is dysregulated, try doing the opposite of what their nervous system is expressing. If your child tends to move quickly and speak loudly when they’re dysregulated, move slowly and speak at a low volume. 

Lastly, make sure to build in time to reset before and after big events or travel days so your child’s nervous system has a chance to re-regulate. 

Create Competent, Authentic, and Contingent Roles. 

If you’d like to include your child in a holiday-related activity, consider the following:

• Competent: Is the activity the “just right challenge” for your child? Can they do it on their own with just a little bit of support? 

• Authentic: Is this something your child would find value in learning? 

• Contingent: Is this an activity that can be done in partnership between parent and child? Can expectations be adjusted based on your child’s response in the moment? 

Taking this approach creates opportunities for meaningful skill building, increasing confidence, and fostering positive social connection between you and your child (Murphy, n.d.).

Summary

We hope that this post helps you feel more prepared and confident in supporting your child’s needs this winter. For more in depth information on topics like this one, join us at our next caregiver workshop!

References:

Bourgeois, D. & Dewey, M. (n.d.). Short days, big feelings: A winter workshop for caregivers. [Google Slides]. Blume Kids Therapy. 

Murphy, L. (n.d.). Co-Regulation: Where do I start?. Declarative Language. https://www.declarativelanguage.com/sunday-snippets-of-support/co-regulation-where-do-i-start

Murphy, L. (n.d.). Competent, Authentic, Contingent Roles Around Your Holiday To-Do’s. Declarative Language. https://www.declarativelanguage.com/sunday-snippets-of-support/competent-authentic-contingent-roles-around-your-holiday-to-dos 

Coles, M. (2023, October 9). Supporting Neurodivergent (including PDA) Children on an

Overseas Holiday. The Kidd Clinic. 

https://www.kiddclinic.com.au/blog/supporting-neurodivergent-including-pda-children-on-an-overseas-holiday

Kleinau, K. How Do You Manage Going Away on Holiday with a PDAer? Raising PDA Kids, 12 Feb. 2023, raisingpda.com/2023/02/13/how-do-you-manage-going-away-on-holiday-with-a-pdaer/. Accessed 18 Dec. 2025.